


♕ yearning

by yugkookisreal



Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Evil, Alternate Universe - Gang World, But no idea what, Gangsters, How Do I Tag, I Ship It, I'm Bad At Tagging, It Gets Worse, Jeon Jungkook is Whipped, Jeon Jungkook-centric, Love/Hate, M/M, Smitten Jeon Jungkook, Tags Are Hard, There's A Tag For That, Unhealthy Relationships, is it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 06:57:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16529654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yugkookisreal/pseuds/yugkookisreal
Summary: the underworld is a harsh place but his love for kim yugyeom is harsher. he's beautiful, charming, hidden and toxic, a brew of destruction and jungkook doesn't want any part of it. but he's still there and it's getting harder to stay sane





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like this disaster of a love story...  
> though does this feel unfinished or like its lacking something because it looks a bit like that

♕

 

He was soft, soft and beautiful as a butterfly and just as fragile. he was marvellous, a character right out of a Shakespeare play, anguished and power ridden but sharp and breakable like glass.  
Jungkook hated him. hated the guts of the man who smiled like he owned the world. And he probably would, if he played his cards right.

 

Wreathed in gold and silk, he was a manifestation from the dreams of those wretched politicians he danced around. He was the seven deadly sins, dark and enticing to those working in the underworld.  
And the male toyed with them, knowing that he was in control at the moment and not the mafia or the goverment.  
But even a man like him had to know what type of position he was in. A simple bump could lead to his death, a single mistake and he still continued to play with them. He should be tipoeing around them, taking every step with care. He should stop with his childish play, because his mischievous would begin his downfall.

 

And Jungkook loathed him because of it. 

 

He always stood in the side lines, holding his breath and praying to every god imaginable for his protection. In the morning, he was this stoic darkness everyone was terrified of and at night he was the exact opposite. He was this begging and crying mess, a pitiful scene that everyone would step over him without a thought. He was beside his side, standing outside the door or behind his glittering physique, a shield for him to hide under. 

 

Yugyeom was a thorny vine, on which bright, pretty lethal crimson roses grew and wrapped around him. At night the roses kissed him and eyes sparkled down on him with an emotion he has never able to decipher.  
At morning, the vine tightens and he's left reeling and gasping and heart aching. 

 

The sharp, close mouthed smile and clouded eyes he reserves for those who he controls is always on his face. And Jungkook wants to cry, he doesn't want that smile directed at him but it still is.  
But those days when Yugyeom is truly there with him, in his arms and smiling it's seems like the best day of his life. It is during those days when he's reminded of his reason of still being his side. 

 

He's in love with Yugyeom, he's in love with the lost boy with an innocent smile which speaks volumes. It is that boy who he rarely sees, the one who stays up all night talking and hiccuping into his chest, the one who seeks warmth and comfort, the one whose smile is glassy and has his forbidding future already set. And it is in those moments, he hates him the most. Those enslaving seconds which trickle away a mile a minute, those times when he doesn't know what to feel. He's infatuated with a man whose too fragile to look into the light.

 

He shouldn't love him, he should leave but then he's still there. And he hated Yugyeom for it.

 

He knows nothing about the man, nothing about his past, his ticking points or the road on which he rose to power. Because one day Kim Yugyeom, the beauty with an angelic body and movements too sinful was just there, sitting on the unstable throne which people like him once sat on. That metallic and bloody throne which terrified him.  
He was there when the last one had fallen from the throne, he was there when Yugyeom had picked up the crown and he will be there when the throne will shake him off.  
But this time he'll have the front row seat.

 

Yugyeom was a poison he shouldn't have drunk, he was the candy everyone wanted the piece off. And Jungkook hated him for it. He set himself a trap and jumped in it, uncaring for the heart which warmed him at night.

 

He choked him, squeezed his heart which he held in his hand, moved him with the strings from which he controlled him. Kim Yugyeom was an enigma, a mystical wizard shrouded in shadows and Jungkook didn't even know if he was true. Was the broken boy real or was the power hungry male real? Or were they both fake, a personality he showed to them who he laid with. He didn't know, he couldn't know but he still followed the man. Yugyeom was his owner, his everything and sometimes he felt like he was under a spell, looking at him from far away. 

 

He wanted to cry.

And he wanted his darkness gone. 

 

But that darkness was the the part of him, a piece of the puzzle which made Jeon Jungkook. It was important for him, it was only thing which made him float on the bloody sea he had himself made. He would lay his life for the delicate darkness which decorated itself and called it love. It was inky, clingy and dark and shone like stars when it looked at him. And Jungkook wanted to be purple for him , his body and soul already laid bare for him to swallow.

 

He wanted to kill him.

But it would mean killing the only thing which meant human to him.

 

He heard the whispers, the silver tongued words and hushed sentences and he wanted them to stop. The caked, shiny faces and fanged mouths they directed at him, standing all hazy and too bright under berating lights. They talked and Jungkook wanted to turn around and sock the daylights out of them. They didn't deserve to talk when they were the same as him. They saw Yugyeom as lucky but Jungkook, Jungkook knew how cleverly the male found his place in between them. The male danced, careless and giggly in the underworld but Jungkook knew how much those pieces he moved and broke in the chess board cost. They didn't know that Yugyeom was a snake they should be careful around if they wanted to win. He was Shakespeare's Macbeth and Hamlet at the same time.

 

Under the colored lights, fountain of liquors and drugs the smell of rot and death was well hidden. Which meant Yugyeom and his playful antics were well hidden. If you could call it playful.

 

Withering demons with horns and voices fluid like honey sauntered those streets, called at him into their nest, hoping for his protection. Who wouldn't want to have the award of breaking him, that god of death which stepped behind the smirking bitch like his lap dog? 

 

The underworld was his playground, his paradise and he extended this privilege to Yugyeom, who reveled in its weak spots. His toxic presence was Jungkook's only salvation and how much he hated him, he still wanted him.

 

Jungkook was his asset and in the darkness when his thoughts ran rampant, he thought about their relationship. But they had nothing, and yet Jungkook still held him in the dark and under the rays of the morning sun.

 

He knew loving him was a risk, especially when he used to pity those who fell under his charm. It was terribly ironic that he had ended up being one of those fools. It was unhealthy, and too strong and he wanted to stop. But Yugyeom was too much for him to handle.  
He wasn't good with feelings and usually tried to keep them under folds as he knew his thoughts got him going rabid on many occasions. The gang treaty had quickly turned into a slaughter and even Yugyeom had been careful around him for a while.

 

So, it wasn't much of a surprise when he had fell, andbhad fallen hard for the taller male. And how much he tried, and how much he wished Yugyeom was with him. And his while the underworld grew, pulsing around one crown whether the lords liked it or not.

 

They were his puppets through and through with their glassy eyed and manic look. They could never escape his strings because with just one look and you would be enamoured with the proclaimed jester of the dark court. He was a glowing adonis with a golden disc atop his head and the weakened heel to Jeongguk's Achilles. And the underground was a war ground and their time was the no man's land, at the brink of destruction. 

With the path already set, Jungkook could only stare at the diamond eyes as they rained fiery angels upon the silted ground and wait for his demise. 

 

♕


	2. eros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an uneventful day on which someone decides that yugyeom's presence deserves more attention as in it can turn tables so now they'll all confused and a bit terrified what coukd happen to yugyeom due to this.  
> atleast yugyeom returns to him at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imma post the stuff here bc making another is tiring lol

♕

The man sitting in front of him wasn't human. He was a monster, regardless of having no blood on his hands like the rest of them. He was just as harsh and cruel like the rest of the underworld. In the darkness, the word murder meant much more then kill and Kim Yugyeom was the prime example of that. He had looted, shredded, destroyed lives much larger in magnitude then of the people Jungkook had killed.

 

The man sitting in front of him was stretching the line and pulling it taunt and just, playing with it. The smirk playing of his pink lips was begging the line to break. And as one fell on his knees in front of him, his eyes glittered like jaspers in the dizzy lightening because he had won and he was still sitting on the throne.

"Please! Please you have to help me, they-"

He was just like them, just like him, just that sobbing mess of a man. They were all monsters in human skin, having no compassion or kindness to be called humane.

"Why would I try to help you? You don't have anything to offer me and neither is your measly life important enough".

They were the devil's workers and the man before them had tried to leave the unimaginable: the underworld, their home.

"And besides you tried to leave with that dead girlfriend of yours, already knowing about the consequences did you not?" His tone is blunt and although his voice is little above a whisper, it seems to echo in the silent room. 

He's a monster, a monster which makes him feel human and looking at the ghastly looking he can't help but think about the irony of it. But what that makes him? Was he a demon for reveling in blood or a lunatic?

The thin, bony man is pulled out by his partners, their muscles bulging against the sharp suit Yugyeom wants them to wear.   
Yugyeom wants to feel powerful, even if the world is under his feet and there's nobody to challenge him. There's nobody in the underworld who plays all of them like some chess pieces.

It was that power loving, fiendish personality which had first attracted him and now, seeing him bathed in gold and looking ruthless and deadly like a bloodless king made pride blossom in his heart. He had helped make him, helped in hiding that pitiful innocence in his arms.  
Should have he done that?

"How did he figure it out? He shouldn't even have come here". Yugyeom mused, the words not just for him to ponder over. The question is rhetorical and though Yugyeom seems nonchalant and casual, they both know the weight of it.  
He needs an answer, even if Jungkook plans to get it himself later.

"I'll look into it once he's taken care off". He mutters, sparing a glance at the man behind the desk as he stands up. 

"Thank you Jungkookie". Yugyeom replies, pulling lightly at his jacket. He turns to look back at him, bracing himself for contrasting expression. Because while Yugyeom's voice might open and soft, his expression is just as closed and blank. "And please get the answer by tonight, yes?"

Again it's an open question and Jungkook knows why he's doing this, but he wishes he didn't. He wishes that Yugyeom could trust him to not betray him for his boss, because when the tension reaches its limits jungkook would betray himself to save his ass.

He nods.  
And leaves, closing the door harshly behind him.

 

 

He knows how diabolical he is, how strange with his dealings he is and how cruel with his life he is. He knows he isn't to be trusted, not with the disorder worsening inside of him but he still wants Yugyeom to trust him. He needs the taller to trust him, because his infatuation is still as heavy, and suffocating like it was before. His emotions usually are and as he pushes the boundaries between a human body and corpse, he feels the giddiness of having someone rot under his hand.

He might know the screaming man, might feel guilt swarm his heart a week later but right now the painful screams is what keeping him from wallowing in self pity. Give yourself up completely, because he's in it for a long run and nobody going to end him that quickly. He's cruel, and a coward that way. His life- no Yugyeom's life for every little soul he smashes under his booted feet, even if he ends being the one killing himself. He'll do it. He'll gladly do it.

He's dissolving, a rainbow of colours, emotions and words. He's stumbling, and dizzy and angry and what should be he do? he got himself in this mess everyone called life. If he hadn't tried anything that rainy night, neither would he be here and neither would've he met yugyeom.

and in between place of heaven and hell he wouldn't have found himself in.

"Is yugyeom busy?" He asked, standing outside the torture room and wiping at the rusting blood on his hands. Two guards leaned against the wall, in familiar ebony and silver suits they shared and heavy gun holsters strapped against their pants. 

"He just left". One of them told him and jungkook stopped.

Tongue poking at his cheek, he reached back to push the door open, letting the bright light touch the crimson and dead body inside. "Then get yourself busy with this".  
The newest of the guards flinched away from the grotesque scene and jungkook moved away them. Once upon jungkook was the same, sane and unfamiliar in the dark and now he was as familiar to it as he was to yugyeom's body.

Was yugyeom terrified when he first killed someone? Was the normal once too?

Sometimes jungkook was stuck thinking in his bed, with warmth digging into his chest and head swirling around his life. at that time, questions burned on his tongue and wanted to ask about yugyeom. Not about his past, his past had always been a sensitive topic but about his sanity. Jungkook and others like him had already lost themselves in this craze but somehow the devil seemed the most normal in front. He laughed and smiled, he stumbled and fell, everything they did too but somehow his actions lacked the madness behind it.  
It was like he was born to rule the netherworld, a true devil who owned his heart.

The door to the room closed behind him and he collapsed on the bed, closing his eyes and falling asleep. And during the night when yugyeom returned his side, he whispered sweet nothings in his ear as sleep overcame his body again.

In the morning, the day would be the same but right now he, under the silverly moon with yugyeom he could sleep without any worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this


	3. chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yugyeom is determined to find out who the hell told that guy about him and his position. only few important people knew of this, nobody else so how?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i wasn't exactly planning to post more chapters bc i don't know, it was supposed to be a short fix which I foolishly turned into this but anyways have reading!

there's an unsettling feeling as he goes through his week, having told the smirking devil what he found out. something like unease, and an emotion akin to fear swirled in his chest, causing him to be more on edge then usual.

they felt it, the tension in him and tried to keep away from him as much as possible but with jeongguk being their head, most guards faced his wrath and yugyeom told him off again and again.

maybe it was because he knew how much trouble yugyeom was putting himself into , putting jeongguk into by stalking the man their victim had spilled out.

maybe it was because the man was dangerous. dangerous not in a way of violence but due to his mind, nothing escaped him and jeongguk had lived his years in the underworld keeping in his good graces, sometimes working for the man with too many secrets and too little talk.

and now yugyeom, the king slut of the underworld with many gifts like lands and money and bodyguards was probably polling outside of his gates. and maybe not in the way jeongguk knew but in way he himself knew best.

it wasn't like nobody could see yugyeom sleeping with men with not much to give and not much to have. it wasn't like his boss was getting iriked by his recent activities, ordering him to tell yugyeom again and again to come visit him and cease those untaateable activities. jeongguk bit down on his lip, it wasn't like his boss wasn't getting the same thing. he was also cheating on his wife with a man like yugyeom as well.

but he didn't anything, didn't tell yugyeom what his boss had told him. the man could tell him himself, especially when yugueom's eyes were getting brighter and brighter as the days went by.

jeongguk thought that maybe he was close to finding someone most people knew about--at least the ones who had been there when the crocked mastermind had stepped in with too much to lose but far superior brain to get himself everything.

maybe jeongguk should've told him who he was dealing with, but he didn't. he didn't know why he didn't. he could've told him once and listened to his boss, helped him and his yugyeom keep away from looming doom.

"they call him key and he's always at the blue club. i don't know why nobody knows much about him". he looked up as yugyeom entered the office, sounding exparessed. "if i knew i was getting this little of an information, i wouldn't even have went past the first. but at least the man's famous".

jeongguk turned back to cleaning his gun, his boss had sent him to get rid of some pesky dealers and in the rush he had pushed his gun in someone's mouth for shotting him down the throat. it had created a bigger mess that he had imagined and cleaning spit and dried blood on his weapon was talking too much time then he had imagined.

he heard yugyeom move, closer until his breath fanned against his cheek, lips pressing softly against his skin. he froze, his movements stilling. "good for him, huh?".

yugyeom was being far too comfy for his taste, pushing him into an unfamiliar territory where everything in the morning was supposed to be taboo. he looked up, putting his gun on the table with the dirty cloth.

"it's for a reason. he's an enigma, yugyeom. it would be in you best interests to leave him alone".

but he was talking to yugyeom, giving a dive to a man who listened to no one and did whatever he pleased. jeongguk was waiting for the time he'll slip and go face first to his death and maybe jeongguk jeongguk would be the one who'll kill him and remember the guilt of murdering rather then the hundreds he had trampled under his foot.

yugyeom laughed, still bended to look at him. a smile twitched at his mouth, his mouth glistening pink as his styled hair ticked jeongguk's cheek. "that old fart can't touch me. he's old and he's out of date, men like him expire after a few years". he whispers in his ear, warm breath making him shiver.

and jeongguk wonders if he also means him, the man who'll die by someone who'll gain the upper hand someday. or that if he knows that the underworld becomes hell after few years when you're at the top of the food chain and everyone hates you or his terrified of you and when the thrill which comes from his line of work comes to a stop and drives him against the wall and you wait, hungry and itchy to someone to pull the trigger on you. to get the best of you, giving you to peace you wouldn't accept that easily.

"that's what he wants you to think". he chides. "he probably already has plans in motion to kill you even if you a take as little of a step towards him".

yugyeom scowls, pulling away disappleased and throws himself in his chair, throwing his feet on the table as he mewls over his words. the silence stretches thin and jeongguk goes ba k to cleaning his guns.

"how well do you know him?". he finally says and jeongguk can't help but notice that yugyeom was back to being the uncivil fucker he showed himself to be among his open enemies.

hsi voice has gone serious, dark and calculative. maybe that's why he's still alive, changing modes and being the perfect minx to his clients and total devil to others.

jeongguk thinks that yes, yugyeom was a better king then the LAST. the last one had let her clients lead everything for her and when she had turned old enough to replace, they had simply shook her chair and little and she had come stumbling down into the bowls of their cruel world, being chained as she was torn apart by bull dogs.

strangely it a beautiful sight, seeing a queen like her being shown her pla e after she had stepped too far.

she had been too good, too naive to see their teeth and when they had smiled she had trusted them. yugyeom didn't make the same mistakes as her and he pulled on the strings of his courtiers, enough to irk them into falling into his bed and asking useless favors to protect himself once the day will come when he'll have to go.

jeongguk would love seeing him go.

jeongguk knew one of those favors, yugyeom had a fake ID and passport stashed away under his bed post, in a secret shelf in the wall of a house he had been gifted money to built.

"well enough". and while yugyeom danced well enough among his clients, he probably had only heard of the last powerful pillar of the underworld only in passing, or maybe in between shallow insults their bosses liked to make. who wouldn't call him an old fart other then kim heechul, after all. "but you can't control him".

where he sat, separated by a table jeongguk could hear the gears turning in his head. he sighed. "he has a boyfriend which you don't want to mess with". but then again their were a lot of people in the underworld yugyeom wouldn't want to mess with, because they weren't exactly the main bosses, they were dangerous enough to make him skeery away like headless mice. "he's one of the assassins for hire on elm street".

named after a nightmarish classic, elm street was a place nobody but killer ventered into. it was too rowdy there and though jeongguk spent most of his free nights there, lounging beside other killers and murders and assassins with too beautiful faces, it would turn into a rapish gangbang if yugyeom came into street.

it was the only place yugyeom had near went into, probably because even he knew how terrible of a place it was.

"so if i can't sleep with him, how am i supposed to win him over? he wants to push me down the ladder and you say i shouldn't try do the same. then what should i do, huh".

"should i sent you down there to kill his boyfriend or should i order all of you finish both?". jeongguk knows he doesn't really mean it, he wouldn't send all of them but he knows he's yet again testing him. he doesn't give him the satisfaction.

the guns clean by now, he fits it back in its holsters and stands up. "trust me, if he was trying to pull you down the ladder he already would've done so".

"key's just pulling your leg. he probably wants to see what you're made of yugyeom so why don't you go visit him. key probably wants to show you that there is a nineth pillar and he hhelds more power then all your clients combined". he doesn't wait for a response before he's out the door, swiftly walking to his bedroom.

there he opens a message from an unknown number.

 **|**    **why don't you be a good dog and escort him to winnie's. i'll be waiting in room three.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to leave kudos and a cent, guys!


	4. chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they found out who spilled it and yugyeom gets frustrated with the newcomer. he's a friend of jeongguk but nobody needs to know that shhhhh

he doesn't expect to yugyeom to put that much of a fight when he brings the text up to him, leaning against the door of his- theirs, he can't really tell - room, waiting for yugyeom to speak up. the man just simply stares at the waldrobe.

"yugyeom he's part of the council even if you've never seen him". he hadn't expected yugyeom to put up a fight but neither had he expected yugyeom to nothing at all. he waits for him to answer, aware of the time passing them by, knowing that each minute they wasted key would would embrass him because of it. how yugyeom would take it, he doesn't know. he could go from screaming and siding to simply smiling and keeping his mouth shut.

jeongguk hoped he'll do something even worse then that, maybd then key would be impressed with the new throne keeper.

elm street was another matter because night progressed, the streets become more wilder then before. it's in those times things really go astray and jeongguk had fallen in between too many blood feuds and killing sprees without meaning to. he could take care of himself but if someone pulls yugyeom away from him without him noticing - which was something he truly believed wouldn't happen but who knows what type of people proll the streets at night. through the years, even he hadn't managed to know everyone in the underworld and he had been there for too long - he was truly gone. yugyeom couldn't even fight to protect himself, especially in front of people who wouldn't even take any of his shit.

he looks out through the window. "yugyeom". they should be leaving by now, the sun had nearly settled.

"donghae wants to see me tonight". yugyeom finally musters the words, spitting it out in the tense silence. it's clear as day in his face, he does not want to be beckoned to someone like some kind of pet.

but he is a pet, a spoiled pet with a crown and power and money. a glorified pet bred to make it leintant and easy to subdue once some other slur rises in the horizon.

"yugyeom he would not take it kindly if you ditch him. at least change". yugyeom was dressed in all black and yes it would've made him fit right in if he wasn't dressed in black silk and jeans and glittery belt loosely wrapped around his hips.

he would stand out. in a street where everyone is either covered in blood or smelling of blood, wearing expensive clothes was a no go. the most someone went expensive was with their suits and it was rare if someone wore them.

jeongguk was an exception because everybody knew how deep he was in the underworld, and making fun of his choice would only get everybody near you murdered only for you to spill your own guts under his orders. he was famous for doing crazy stunts like that and he wasn't shy to comment on it.

he pulled on his clothes, getting out of them and changing into something crusted with blood. throwing his dirty clothes in a hamper nearby, he turned to yugyeom extending to him his clothes. "come on".

tense silence later, yugyeom was taking the clothes from him and changing, jeongguk staring at white expense of untouched skin. so he hadn't let them touch him, mare his skin with bruises. good.

none of his clients would accept it and at least it would keep his boss hounding his back about yugyeom spree.

and though they had kept waiting him longer then jeongguk would've though possible, he quickly ushered him in a car and drove at speeds which they could get away with at night.

jeongguk just hoped key was still there. if yugyeom lost the chance, it would bite him in the back much harder he would expect.

the streets sped past them as he recklessly drove past still open stores to the lesser part of the city, the small street half hidden by a conclstruction site and a river.

 

by the time they got there, it was dark and the streets were filling up.

open season which was coming up probably had them rushing to stock up their ammunitions and blades just like jeongguk should be doing now. he decided he'll go tommorrow, he had to be ready before someone decided on killing his employers or his responsibility.

the woman who had been on last in yugyeom's place had died during open season, it was the best time of the years to get away with any type of murder and death without retribution. it was the underworld's own purge, a time in which everyone could climb the ladders and hold other's ransom.

but it came around every three years but to charging of many others.

"it's for purge, isn't it?". yugyeom whispers, his eyes trailing passerbys armed to the teeth. he turned towards him. "you would protect me, wouldn't you?".

jeongguk studied him, his wide open eyes and soft bitten mouth and his silky hair run through. he nodded, he will, the he will. it would kill but he still would.

"good". yugyeom smiled, his hand pressing into his own before quickly pulling away. "we should go".

and jeongguk thought if it was actually worth it, loosing his life, giving it away for yugyeom. it was, because love was like that and he would burn the whole world to save him, even if he perishes from the fire. because that emotion was everything to him, finally feeling something akin to warmth was everything even if it was burning to the touch and it slowly killed him. yugyeom was worth it, that bastard.

they got out, jeongguk pushing on his bucket hat on his responsibility last minute, ignoring the loud huff he got in return and tangling their hands together annoyed yugyeom was better then dead, shot yugyeom.

"follow me and don't let go". squeezing his fingers, he moved them forward into the bristling crowd. jeongguk tried to ignore that yugyeom wasn't keeping his head down and was looking at everyone and everything with wide eyes.

for someone who hadn't seen elm street it was a wonderful place to just see, from a very very far away with colorful fairy lights lightening every corner and neon signs to illegal clubs and human pens and brothels flushed with customers and naked bodies.

jeongguk numbly thought of how yugyeom would look amongst them, amongst the low sluts and bruised skins. they were the same anyways and before yugyeom had suddenly been there, maybe he had been one of them. maybe someone had noticed in the gloom.

"what are you thinking?". yugyeom whispered, pulling himself closer and nearly flush against his side. it was then jeongguk noticed that the passerby had started to press themselves closer to them, looking at yugyeom with filthy eyes.

jeongguk wrapped his arms around the other, muttering a nothing before sending a glare at closest of them, waiting him flinch and shrink away. how they had the audacity to surround him was beyond him.

he looked up, noticing the bar staring him right in the eye. he blinked, and giving the passerby another glare he pushed yugyeom through the half hidden door in the side and into the establishment of blue.

the blue lights hit him head on, and he stumbled up a step by mistake. at least yugyeom was still beside him.

"he's in room three". jeongguk reached to whisper in his ear, pulling him through the dense crowd of tables and comfortable customers taking the seats before stopping. he pointed at the stairs going up and the man guarding it. "you have to go up alone. tell the gaurd you're here to see minho and he'll let you up".

"and be careful". and he had pushed yugyeom towards the man before he could say anything. if the gaurd noticed who it was, he didn't say anything and regarded yugyeom in cold assessment.

jeongguk watched as yugyeom clearing his throat told the gaurd what jeongguk had told and went up, the gaurd nodding at him as his eyes followed him up. he probably knew who yugyeom was.

and if he did, most of other people will too because even if yugyeom's face wasn't shown anywhere but at birthday galas or such things of sort, he was still infamous enough to get those looks from others.

yugyeom was still irresistible to ignore even when jeongguk had put him in the loose clothes he had.

"are you here for a late night drink too?". he turned, the familiar voice pulling a small smile on his face. "because i need whiskey in me before i clock one of those goons outside".

chuckling, he settled by an empty table and eunwoo followed him. the meeting would take time and if he gets some alcohol in his system, it would hurt. especially when he didn't drink that much. "what happened with you then?".

"everything". eunwoo further elaborated once they had flagged down a waiter and ordered themselves drinks and food. jeongguk had suddenly noticed that he was hungry, but then waiting for food at home wouldn't help him at all or yugyeom to hear his growling belly. "my employer had this morning party full of bj boys and dude, i saw things in there which are definitely not good for my breakfast. what about you?".

"the same". eunwoo was his only friend and person who was willing to tolerate outside of work and venting out with him had been a weekly occurrence until yugyeom had pushed himself in his life. then yugyeom had become everything for him, and though he hated yugyeom and himself for it, the trap had already been sprung and he had fell into it.

they're visits had become lesser and lesser after that. he didn't have enough time and telling eunwoo about yugyeom - his feelings and the position he was in - was enough.

they busied themselves in catching up, jeongguk keeping the recent events secret while talking shit about his employer and yugyeom's antics. likewise eunwoo followed up with his and suddenly they were back in their own routine, jokingly flirting with each other and throwing half assed but deadly threats they could follow through if they wanted to.

it was like yugyeom had come in and threw his heart out of orbit, making him feel things he thought he would never feel. he had hoped he would never come to feel. but it was there, his heart thudding in his heart as harsh reminding that yugyeom made him go crazy enough to kill. to join the ones outside with his own killing spree of whoever had spoken bad about his yugyeom.

and fuck-

"who are you and what are you doing with my jeongguk?". he stiffened, refusing to turn as yugyeom placed a careless hand of him shoulder and eunwoo looked at his responsibility with a assussed look.

they looked at each other in silence but jeongguk was far too confused to question their looks. his heart had sped up suddenly at the words, once because he had gotten startled by the voice - he hadn't definitely missed loosing himself in their conversations - and second because of his. too many emotions were blurring around his heart and he couldn't think straight.

"relax, couger". eunwoo pulled the word out, laughter ringing through his voice. "we were just talking. your lover's alright, by the way".

why did he say that if he refused to acknowledge their nights together, when yugyeom refused to acknowledge anything between them from the fleeting touches, to the too long stares. why? was he taking advantage of everything jeongguk put on his plate, giving these remarks those, those gifts to him to pull further into the his mind was.

it wasn't enough that killing somehow brought him back and that hiding that smirking devil behind had rumored him weak and that in open season people would come for him and jeongguk. and maybe yugyeom was using him again, the days which he was smiling at home and touching were closer and more frequent then before. was the web he was creating for him to fall in again - he would, dammit would grandly do so because he was addicted to the love yugyeom gave him, addicted to the love he had never felt - and save him for those baatards? was jeongguk just a shield to him?

did his life, that man he pulled his mask down for mean nothing or maybe yugyeom pulled on a mask for him to fall through. he didn't know, he couldn't because time and time he'll wish to leave but the lullaby which is kim yugyeom would pull in in, snare in a throny cage of poisonous yet sweet smelling roses and thorns.

maybe yugyeom wanted to drown him in his sea of lies, laugh and grin that beautiful smile of his and he slips through his fingers.

maybe he will kill a few outside tonight.

"what do you mean by that?". accusing, yugyeom glared down at the other man. he wasn't even blushing at the jab, keeping the stoic darkened glare of his face, probably already used to undirect speeches for him to fill.

but then eunwoo was there, and jeongguk was the only thing which could keep the two snarling at each other and so he turned back to him, still feeling as lost as he had when he had first fallen in love.

"nothing". he pushed him, grabbing at the package he had ordered. "he means nothing. and now if you're done, it's time to go".

he touches his phone, time well past midnight shining on it. he whistles. "it has gotten very late. we need to go".

yugyeom nods, suddenly being silent as jeongguk guides him out, tense hand resting on his shoulders as he calls out to eunwoo. "we'll catch up some time later".

and they're gone, down the steps and into the street, pushing past an even thicker crowd with urgency. it was like wading through a rushing river but still managed to move past them and to their parked car, finding a dick spray painted on it.

sighing, jeongguk turned to look at yugyeom's reaction but he was still silent and gloomy. he usually got angry when anything happened to his expensive gifts. maybe he hadn't seen but he had to, it was literally drawn on his side of the car.

jeongguk decided to not comment on it, talking about anything outside was dangerous especially what they were going to talk about and so he shuts his mout hand gets in the car.

in the car, everything feels even more tense and his heart reminds him that yet that, that yes seeing his this gruntled saddened him. jeongguk ignores it to start up the car and drive.

they're was no point of wasting his time by thinking such things.


	5. chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yugyeom gets turned down

it's at night, when yugyeom returns and collapses on top of him wrapping himself around him. jeongguk breathes him in, pursing his lips as he tangles himself in him. 

yugyeom shakes, whispering. " i may be a pet but that doesn't mean i take to threats kindly". 

"did key say something". of course he said something, jeongguk knows but he knows how far he had went. sometimes little things would infuriate the other, pull him into a history nobody was able to dig up.

jeongguk had tried once, to find yugyeom's family, his history but he could only locate coordinates of an abandoned cabin in the woods, a hidden drug deal under the brown eyed girls in the south. 

but even though he hadn't managed to get anything other then a useless lead, there were things jeongguk spinned himself stories about yugyeom's past. yugyeom knew how to read and he seemed to good at dancing and jeongguk had spun himself a tale in which yugyeom was a high school student forced away from his parents and pushed into club lifestyle because of some debt. other times yugyeom was a rich run away who stumbled upon a poor tattooed asshole and fell in love with him. 

one thing was sure, yugyeom very quickly twisted everyone under his song and so everything lead to that, to their position of yugyeom supporting two very different personalities, both of them very disarming. with that, jeongguk didn't even knew yugyeom but at least they were days when jeo ggul felt extra close to him, almost feeling that if he looked a little deeper yugyeom would open around him like a blooming flower and spill the life he had before his whoring days. 

he feels yugyeom mouth twist into a frown on his neck, his lips brushing across his vein. "other then completely treat me like a child? yes". jeongguk waits for him to contunie, to speak more and spill his secrets to him. guess he was in more control of his words jeongguk would've thought. something must've happened. 

" and? ". 

"let's just say he told me little bit of everything knowing that i'll know he's reading me but still would be repeative enough to do it". he's silent after it, his breathing being only indigent to him that he was still awake, just thing. he somehow sounded hurt as he spoke. 

"he told me that i shouldn't trust you". he's mouth is suddenly brushing his ear and whispering the words into his ear like some kind of challenge and challenge it is. but he still finches away and his heart still aches at the words. he curses at himself, yugyeom was still amazing in the art of lying. 

yugyeom almost smiles into his ear. jeongguk suddenly feels anger bloom in him. "he told me that you don't even trust yourself. that you loose control but we both know that, don't we? key told me you're easy to manipulate". 

jeongguk suddenly pushes him away. "you know that and you know i'll do anything for you". 

when yugyeom speaks again, his voice is low and almost muddled. he was definitely from seoul, their accent too rushed to make any sense to many people. "i know". 

his eyes shine as he locks eyes with him, mischief glittering in them. "then why don't you show me why i'm right". 

and jeongguk is back at the beginning, unsure as yugyeom moves to straddle him, expertly moving his hips under him. he doesn't even need to do that, jeongguk is already half gone. 

he lets him do as he pleases, because when your own body becomes an enemy to yourself its better to let go. there's no point making the yugyeom hate him or even fear him. 

he probably does already fear him, at least enough to start of slow and for yugyeom to stare into his eyes trying to gnaw his emotions. if he was trying to get jeongguk disgusted or angry, that doesn't happen and slowly as it was, his pace grew faster and faster until yugyeom was bent over him, eyes crimson from keeping them open and mouth open. 

he needed something from him, obviously. yugyeom during those rare times when they'll be intimate, never took charge and completely fell under him. but this yugyeom, the one with the sly grins and greedy eyes had never made an appearance. ever. and seeing him inside his sacred place strangely hurt him more then he had thought. 

maybe he was still hoping that sweet , paliable yugyeom was just for him to see and protect. that the other side of him was for other people, not him who was his to wreck and seduce. 

and he didn't know how it happened, the hurt had pushed itself up into his throat twisting into white hot anger and he found his lap empty and yugyeom on floor, gasping and wide eyed. 

jeongguk froze, shallow breaths leaving him as he waited for yugyeom to react. 

he expected him to scream, to pull at his stings, to push him until he turned into a puddle, a robot for him to do as please. but he didn't expect for yugyeom to push himself farther away from him, creeping away in silent haste. 

it made him feel powerful. like the madened murderer he was once, not a puppet for yugyeom to play with. he felt like himself again.   
but there was no mistaking the ache in his heart, the pain he had gotten used to as months had crept away. the pain didn't use though, seeing his lover afraid of him shouldn't have been making him feel good about himself. 

but it did.

"boss wouldn't like me sleeping with you". he didn't say that it wouldn't be the first time he had done it, that he would take it rather then killing a horde of drunken rapists or listening to his boss. "you should leave". 

he had just said the words, without thinking and so when yugyeom left, his expression shrouded in darkness he didn't think it would feel that lonely.

**Author's Note:**

> There much better, no?
> 
> Don't forget to leave a kudo and a comment below


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